Remembering
by jokergirl94
Summary: Little Johnny Winchester is curious about his Daddy that he can't remember. How will Sam go about helping him figure out who is Daddy is. This is a Death Fic and contains Dean/Castiel and Sam/Gabriel. Please give it a shot it the summary doesn't do it justice. ONE-SHOT


**Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from any of the characters in here. **

**A/N: This is all based on a dream I had recently so I decided to write about it. I've been working religiously on it ever since. Don't worry those of you following my other stories I'm still working on them I just needed to get this one done first. **

**2/4/13- I'm just going to fix any mistakes that I found while re reading this story. I will not be changing anything big. **

"Uncle Sammy?" A small boy questioned standing at the door to the large study in the two story farmhouse that Sam Winchester and his husband Gabriel now lived in.

Looking up from the law paper he was grading Sam looked over the edge of his sliver rimmed glasses, "What can I do for you Johnny?" He asked leaning back in his office chair and scooted back from his desk.

"Can I ask you a question?" The 7 year old asked walking across the cozy room that Sam had made his own and climbed into his Uncle's arms.

"You know that you can always ask me or Uncle Gabe anything." Sam said looking first at John and then at the framed picture of everyone's smiling faces at the Grand Canyon on his desk. It had been taken on the last family vacation the brothers were on before… well the last one.

"I know but I don't want to make you sad like I make Dad sad whenever I ask him about Daddy." John answered turning around to look up at his Uncle. Sam knew immediately where this conversation was headed and had tried to mentally prepare himself for this moment but now that it was here he wasn't so sure he had done a good job at preparing himself.

Taking a deep breath he stood up along with Johnny, "I think this calls for some pie." As they walked out of the study Sam flipped the lights off knowing he wouldn't be back in here again tonight and the duo walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Sam sat his nephew into a chair by the island and he started to prepare the dessert.

"Where's Uncle Gabe?" John asked apparently full of questions tonight.

"Your Uncle Gabe is working late at the candy store and won't be home until late. It's just us tonight kid." Sam answered slipping a slice of cherry pie, Dean's favorite, onto a plate and handed it to John and handed over a glass of milk along with the pie. Turning in the open kitchen area Sam quickly served up the same for himself except he grabbed himself a beer instead of milk sensing that he would need the alcoholic drink after tonight.

Starting in on his pie, John was halfway through a mouthful of the red dessert when he decided he had another urgent question for his Uncle, "When is Dad coming? Can I stay the night again?" John asked spraying crumbs and bits of cherry across the counter and over his Uncle in a fashion so similar to Dean; John must have inherited it from his father.

"It's Friday night you know you always stay overnight on Friday." Sam answered trying to figure out what his nephew was up too. Noticing that both plates and glasses were empty Sam stood up and walked the dishes to the sink and set them in the sink where they would sit until morning.

"Come on Johnny I have something I want to show you." Sam announced nodding his head in the direction of the family room.

Hopping off the stool in the kitchen John quickly followed after his Uncle into the living room where he saw him go over to the big book shelf that filled one whole wall. John watched as Sam pulled a big book from one of the higher shelves and walked over to the couch.

"Come on buddy I think you're gonna like what I have to show you." Sam said sensing his nephew's apprehension and patted the seat next to him.

Quickly scooting across the leather couch he was soon snuggled into his Uncle's side and started in on the questions, "What is this? I've never seen this book before."

"If you give me a minute I'll explain it all to you." Sam commented already flipping to the first page of the photo album and stopped on the first page which held a picture of Dean and Cas on their wedding day.

Shortly after Dean and Cas had escaped Purgatory they admitted their feelings for one another but it wasn't until after they closed the Hell Gates that they decided they had waited long enough to be with each other and got married. Sam remembered the wedding day as if it was only yesterday because really 9 years wasn't that long right?

"Hey that's Dad and is that Daddy?" John asked pointing with one of his pudgy fingers at the picture of the two men in their matching black tuxes.

"Yeah John that's them, this picture was taken on their wedding day. They were so happy that day you could tell they really loved each other. Your parents never took their eyes off of each other that whole day. They were practically connected at the hip. Your Dad picked the day and your Daddy picked the place. They got married September 18th 2013 on a beach in California." Looking at the picture Sam could practically hear Dean's booming laughter filling the tent where they were having the small reception or see Cas 'sneaking' a peck on Dean's check when he thought no one was looking.

Deciding his nephew was too quiet Sam looked over and watched the younger's expression. Looking at John always shocked Sam because Dean and John looked so similar to how Dean looked at his age. John had the same short, spiky blonde hair and startling green eyes framed by long eyelashes and a splattering of freckles across the small boy's nose and cheeks.

"You mean they got married on my birthday?" John asked with child like curiosity turning to look at him with questioning eyes.

Sam chuckled, "It was a couple of years before you were born but I guess they did. You know your Dad used to say you were the best anniversary present they could have asked for." Sam offered flipping the page in the book to show Dean and Cas in front of their first home and the next one showing them picking out their first Christmas tree.

Flipping the page again Sam came to the first page with John's entries. the first picture being the first sonogram.

"What's that? It doesn't really look like anything." John asked tilting his head in the confused puppy way Cas often did himself.

"That's you big guy." Sam answered rubbing his nephew's back. He remembered the day when Dean and Cas had come over and announced to them that they were going to start a family via a surrogate mother. Sam had jumped for a joy and hugged each man offering his congratulations, the couple had decided that Dean was going to be the biological father and that the pregnancy would soon be well on its way. Sam and Gabe had talked about starting a family before that but had decided that instead of going through with an adoption or a surrogate they would instead spoil their niece or nephew rotten whenever they had the chance.

Sam remembered the day Dean ran into his office at the college they were both teaching at (Sam was a Law professor and Dean taught Folk Lore) and practically shoved the sonogram into Sam's face, the older man's voice already bursting with fatherly pride as he pointed out each of the tiny feet and that it was a boy.

Sam also remembered the day or rather frantic midnight call from Dean yelling that it was time and that they should get to the hospital. Sam and Gabe practically flew to the hospital and were there when Dean and Cas first held Jonathan Robert Winchester named after their Father and family friend.

"Is that me?" John asked pointing at the picture of him and Dean sleeping together on the couch.

"Yeah sure is. That was when you were teething and you wouldn't let your Daddy sleep at all, no matter what anyone else tried only he was able to get you to calm down. Finally I think you both just fell asleep out of pure exhaustion." Sam added flipping the pages knowing he was coming to the end of the pictures that held Dean.

Flipping through he pages he pointed out the pictures of Dean and John at the mall with Santa and the one at the fair with them on the carousel and the one of John at his first birthday opening his presents. There was even one of Dean and John mimicking driving the Impala together.

Realizing he had come to the end of the pictures of his brother Sam looked up blinking back tears as he looked out the front window facing the empty field across the road. It was about that time of year again it would be what 5 years since Dean was taken from them?

"Uncle Sammy I'm sorry" Sam heard as he felt a pair of tiny hands wiping away the wetness running down his stubble covered checks.

Taking off his glasses and running his free hand over his eyes to try and stop the tears from coming Sam turned and looked down at John, "What are you sorry for buddy? You haven't done anything wrong."

"But I made you cry just like Dad whenever I ask him about Daddy." John answered in childlike honesty.

Sam knew that Cas hadn't been the same since Dean was killed. The angel took all the available shifts at the hospital and it had been ages since he heard one of his ringing laughs or saw one of his smiles. "I like talking about your Daddy I just get sad but it's ok to be sad sometimes."

"Do you and Dad hate me?"

"Why would you ever ask a question like that? You know we all love you and you could never make us hate you." Sam asked astounded at what had just come out of the child's mouth.

"Whenever Dad looks at me he gets really sad. Did I do something to make him sad?" John asked.

"Your Dad just misses your Daddy a lot. You know John you are so much like your Daddy you even like the some of the same things." Sam said looking out the window again and watching the first flakes of snow fly in the air.

"What happened to Daddy?" John asked. He had never gotten this far any of the other times he had tried to figure out what had happened hopefully he would finally find out the truth.

"Your Daddy was a hero John he died so others could live." Sam answered and it was something he had placed in the back of his mind since he was old enough to figure out what Dean and his Dad did. Sure he would have thought that when he had to relay the bad news it would have been because a monster had finally killed his brother or some other hunting accident had claimed the life of his brother and not because some psycho with a gun had decided to hold up a grocery store.

SPN SPN SPN

Sam remembered that December evening clearly. He had been over at Dean and Cas's house trying to help them with a sick Johnny who was running a fever and couldn't get comfortable. They had taken the toddler to the Doctor's earlier that day and had said that it was just the common flu and told them to pick up some children's cold medicine and if the baby didn't feel better in a couple of days to come back to the clinic.

It was decided that they need more medicine and food and nominated Dean to go for a supply run. Everyone (Sam, Cas and Gabriel) had all been on Dean's case since settling down to start going places unarmed because they couldn't afford for him to be arrested for carrying a weapon without a permit. So Dean left the house with his Colt sitting on the kitchen table and said he would be back in an hour and to call if they needed anything.

The hour soon came and passed but there was no sign of Dean. Sam and Cas were able to get John to fall asleep and Sam had called Gabe to tell him he was staying the night to help with John. It was 2 am before Sam and Cas heard the tell tale footsteps coming up the porch and were about to ask Dean if had bought out the whole store when they heard a knock instead of the slamming of the front door announcing Dean's arrival. Turning confused to Sam, Cas walked quickly over to the door to see who would be visiting at this hour. Opening the door Cas found himself face to face with two police officers.

"Castiel Winchester?"

"Yes what can I do for you?"

"I'm sorry sir but there was a shoot-"

Sam grabbed Cas before he could collapse on the ground.

"What are you talking about Officers?"

"There was a shooting and Mr. Winchester was killed. I'm sorry."

SPN SPN SPN

It turns out it was a drug addict and he wanted money for his next fix. Dean had managed to clear everyone from the building before the robber found him and put three in his chest.

Sam kicked himself every day for bugging Dean to leave his weapon at home and just trust that he wouldn't need it. Because maybe just maybe if he would have had it that day little Johnny wouldn't have to learn about his Daddy through his Uncles and pictures.

"Daddy was a hero? Like Batman?" Johnny asked looking up at his Uncle with anxious eyes.

Sam chuckled yeah Dean and John were liked twins, "Yeah buddy just like Batman."

Looking down again Sam saw John trying to hide a yawn making Sam look at his watch and was surprised to see that it was well past midnight and nearing one. Wondering where Gabe was Sam looked up and was surprised to see his husband sitting in his armchair across from them listening intently.

"Come on kiddo why don't we get you ready for bed so you can kick some butt in your Basketball game tomorrow?" Gabe asked seeing Sam's pleading eyes, seeing that Sam needed a moment to himself.

"Uncle Gabe!" John exclaimed and despite his sleepy state managed to jump off the couch and into his Uncle's arms. Gabe proceeded to carry the little boy out of the living room and up to his bedroom that he had claimed in their modest farmhouse.

Sam sat on the couch listening to the old wooden floorboards creak above him as his angel helped their nephew get ready for bed. Standing up Sam went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before he went to bed. Taking the glass Sam walked over to the wall calendar and was shocked to see that this coming Thursday would mark the anniversary of Dean's death.

Suddenly tired Sam finished his glass of water and left the kitchen turning off the lights on his way and made his way upstairs to his bedroom but not before stopping at John's door wishing the boy goodnight.

After wishing John a good night Sam headed to his own king sized bed and didn't even bother to change out of his jeans and over shirt and laid down on top of the comforter and started to cry.

He wasn't sure how long it was but soon Sam was wrapped in Gabe's arms and for the first time in years he cried himself to sleep with his Angel's arms around him.

SPN SPN SPN

"Go John!" Sam and Gabe cheered on the bleachers for the 7 year old at the community basketball game.

"How's he doing?" A ruff voice asked from next to Sam.

"Just got his second basket might have a career in this someday." Sam proudly announced turning to look at Cas who had taken a seat next to him on the metal bleachers. Sam took in the man next to him from the dark bags under his eyes and navy scrubs to the tan trench coat that he still wore no matter how ratty it had gotten over the years.

"How was your shift?" Gabriel asked his brother in between mouthfuls of M&MS and leaning across Sam.

Cas hesitated to answer and a pained expression came across his bright blue eyes, "We had a gunshot wound came in," Cas paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "he didn't make it."

Both Gabe and Sam knew how hard gunshot victims were for Cas to care for because they always reminded him of Dean. Hell he hadn't even been able to watch an action flick since the murder.

"I think I need to visit him today. Can you watch Johnny for awhile after the game?" Cas asked getting up prepared to go visit his husband.

Not that Sam had a problem taking care of the little boy Sam adored and enjoyed taking care of John but he figured this was his time to step in, "He asked about him last night you know?"

"What?" Cas asked stopping mid stride and turned around.

"He asked about his Daddy last night. I think it's time you talk to him about Dean he has questions that you need to answer Cas." Sam asked letting Gabe pass to get some sodas.

"Sam I-"Cas started.

"You aren't the only one who lost someone that night. We all did and I'm afraid that John is going to grow up without the knowledge of who Dean was and I can't live with that on my conscience and I'm sure you can't either."

Shaking his head Cas answered, "I think I'll take him with me then. Thank you Sam."

SPN SPN SPN

Stepping from the Impala Cas closed the driver's door and went to the backseat to help his son out of the car and into the considerable snow that had started the night before.

The father and son quietly passed through the field on the edge of town until they finally reached the giant oak that housed Cas's fallen grace. Walking further under the umbrella protection the tree provided they stopped when they reached the headstone.

_Dean Michael Winchester_

_Loving Father, Son and Husband_

_January 24, 1979 to December 2, 2017 _

"_Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done  
Lay your weary head to rest" _

"Say hi to Daddy John." Castiel said bending down to brush the snow from the stone.

"Hi Daddy" John offered bending down to place a pack of peanut M&MS his Uncle Gabe had slipped him in front of the marker.

"You know that was your Father's favorite snack I couldn't get him to stop eating them. I practically had to buy them in bulk." Cas said smiling with misty eyes at the fond memories crossed his mind.

"We miss you so much Dean I wish you were here." Cas said a few crystal tears slipping down his face as he placed a red rose on top of the stone.

"Dad I don't like it when you cry. It makes me sad." John said walking over to his kneeling Dad and tried to wrap him in his little arms.

Cas wrapped his arms around his son and went to lean against the trunk of the big tree, "You are your father's son that is for sure." Cas answered remembering all the times Dean had done the same to him.

Moments passed in silence as they watched the snowflakes fall around them and start to cover the presents they had left at the gravesite.

"Will you tell me about him?" John asked against Castiel's chest.

Rolling his head back against the rough bark of the tree and looking up into the barren branches stretching up into the sky almost to Heaven Cas thought. He answered in a small voice almost a whisper, "I would love to John."

SPN SPN SPN

Standing back from the huddling duo Dean stood watching his family with a smile on his face. Walking forward to his husband and son he embraced them one last time placing a kiss on John's forehead and one on Cas's lips.

"I love you guys." Dean whispered in each of their ears before he quietly faded away.

**A/N: Reviews please. I hope you enjoyed this and it didn't make you cry to hard I know I cried. **_**  
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